"I just don't feel comfortable being anybody's girlfriend. I don't actually feel comfortable being anybody's anything, you know? Okay, let me break it down for you; I like being on my own. Relationships are messy and people's feelings get hurt. Who needs it? We're young, we live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. Might as well have fun while we can and save the serious stuff for later."
Since forever, I've wanted to be in a long term relationship and eventually get married and actually stay married. Recently, as much as I still absolutely adore that idea, I've totally been thinking along the lines of the quote above. Why? Am I scared of what might actually happen if it doesn't work out? Probably. Am I terrified of potentially losing one of my best friends? Of course.
I've been doing this thing recently where I pretty much prevent myself from falling for someone. I don't want to get hurt. No one does, obviously. But why do I do it? I avoid eye contact, I pull people in and then push them away. I don't want to, but I do. I even said the words "don't take this too seriously" and "can we not put a label on this?" What? I never, ever thought I'd be the one to say those words.
I don't know if I'm just incredibly insecure and paranoid what other people would think and say but there is absolutely no need since it's none of their business. Or maybe I'm just terrified for getting into something serious and hurting someone close to me.
I should just man up and not think about potential disaster situations and live in the moment and stop trying to prevent myself from falling for someone. I'm failing at that right now. This all couldn't have come at a worse time: when trying to study for resits.
Get out my head. Just for just now.
Also, incase you were wondering (even though you weren't), this is my favourite moment from the film (500) Days of Summer.
♥
No comments:
Post a Comment